Are you attracted to charming and attractive people?

We are aware of people, both men and women, who are glowingly attractive, not only in appearance but also in personality. These people have that magnetic force which draw them to us, and we are attracted to them. They are what we call "charming" They are people we like to be with, who make us feel good just to be around them. They are warm, friendly, "human" people. If they are women, men love them and are attracted to them. If they are men, women admire them and seek them. You can be that kind of man or woman! No matter what your age, appearance, education, you can be radiant and attractive. You can develop an inner fire and radiance that will win others to you! And I realize that there are charming people in mylot, the way they write can say a lot about them in real. I respect their experience and knowledge on many good subjects which I would not have learned in a short span of time. Would you like to be that kind of person or in other way round are you attracted to such people who are charming in their own ways either in real world or in this virtual world?

The Naked and the Innocent

Fashion and style has invaded the world by storm and you have only to see the fashions worn by the actresses during the film festivals or during the presentation of academy awards to see how creative designers are in the art of designs. There are people who choose to wear decently from head to toe and there are others who feel comfortable wearing sexy cloths with barely enough cloths to cover their upper and lower parts of their bodies. They bare it all to see, to the delight of the photographers and reporters. That is but in the name of fashion.

But let me bring you to the innocent side of the picture to the third world country who have never heard of the word fashion let alone understand the obscenity of their dressing. The traditional way of dressing among the women of a hill tribe was to leave the upper part of their bodies bare. They did not draw any attention among their men who went about their daily duties as they had been doing for generations. However, when they were about to be visited by some officials undertaking a study on their way of life, the young girls were told by their chieftain to hide themselves. They were safe among the men of their tribe, but there was no telling what the so called educated and civilized world would do to them. Naturally, someone who has grown up in the woods and in the company of the same stork is not going to understand the need to cover up. It would not have made sense for her to wear swim suits while she bathed. In another she is duped by a rowdy group of boys to lift up her dress, exactly the way a little girl might do thinking that this was a game. One feels immediately the pain of exploitation. I just wonder why these tribesman are not easily sexually stimulated but believe that outsiders would be stimulated by their women in bare?

Friends Forever

When I take time to develop a friendship, the kind that has the freedom for one friend to call another when anything goes wrong, or when help is needed, I am forging a relationship that is unique and worth nurturing. I can honestly tell you that I am one that has a thick ice coating in my heart, am not so easy to make friends, may be a usual 'Hi' when I meet a new person and that doesn't register in my book of friends. Call me whatever you think I am, unfriendly, stuck-up, proud..but once I find the right chemistry in a friend I will stay with him/her through the end of life. Put simply the friends I have here are friends that I can interact and connect on various levels (humour, politics, religion, interests or even circumstances)

But there are times when I find myself rubbing people on the wrong way which is causing me a lot of stress. Friends disagree. Imagine a world where everyone thought, behaved and acted just like you. (only in your dreams!) But, in reality, as unlikely as it sounds, you'll go to bed one night and feel badly that harsh words were volleyed back and forth between the two of you. I believe that managing conflict and stress will become a necessity, and that relationship will require immediate attention. While we cannot change our personality or that of our friend, we might pick up some pointers by watching those who come by diplomacy naturally. Listen to the tone of voice or words they choose. creating peace again is not easy, and some inward thinking is a good start. But what causes a friendship to blast into oblivion?

Thousand Miles Away

With the advent of internet, more and more people are meeting and dating in the virtual world. This type of long distance relationships are not easy and require an enormous commitment from both people. With careers requiring people to move to different places from their significant others, and with internet dating encouraging people from different parts of the country (and world) to begin romantic unions, how can you keep your love intact?

There are many reasons why the relationships won't work. Although the cell phone comes in handy, you are often not in the same time zone, so you have to plan what time to have a phone conversation. But if you put your time and attention into connecting with this person in a variety of ways and allow yourself to be flexible and to trust, the miles in between won't matter. If you are away from each other, what is the understanding you have about dating other people or developing friendships and going out with other people?

Cyberspace Heartache

Today's high-tech horrors has brought more harm then good to many people especially to people who can't differentiate between real physical friends and virtual friends. They are blinded by the glazed honeyed words penned down by these computer geeks. They are smart people who knows well the cyber lingo that can unearth personal details from unsuspecting people from the other end of the line. Once they get little info they visualize and make up what that person is like. More often it is falsely presented. Exchanging of emails, chatting can be interesting and fun but it can also create an emotional feelings like in the real world. We are often hypnotized by words that are often written at the spur of the moment and forgotten as soon as they leave the net.

What I like about this unique cyberspace camaraderie is the non presence of "glare and stare" factors. I feel comfortable in confiding to virtual friends. I am barring my soul. Suddenly the chatting stops and the email stops. Why? you realize that you have rubbed on the wrong shoulders, the topics doesn't excite you anymore,something in that person makes you uncomfortable. It just fizzles into the thin air. I have to draw a thick line between reality and virtual friends, at least if being dumped, I'll know where they stay. Through cyberspace one can create closeness and fondness through exchange of words which can actually derail the proper functioning of the brain for a while and jump start the heart to ecstasy like a fairy kind of story.

It is a dangerous game getting involved in cyberchat, we don't know who we are chatting with, so don't believe in words conveyed through the net chat (probably) populated by creepy geeks, deranged looneys and ex-cons. Stay true to your physical friends as they know us better and we are confident they are there when we need them most in times of difficulties. Have you ever found a true virtual friends whom you can chat where you can really put your heart and soul?

Do YouThink It Is OK to Gain Weight As You Age?

It is scary to think that when you look at the mirror, you may see similarities to your mother. You have gained weight. Although you have tried to lose some pounds, you have settled into your body and accept that it is no longer as easy as it once was to maintain a thin figure. This is not the unhealthy weight, and you're getting used to the way you look and you dress well to fit the new you. The way you choose your dressings make you feel comfortable and pretty good.

But others who used to see you in your youthful shape before could not stop commenting how big you have grown and they can't seem to see that you are OK the where you are. On the other hand being skinny when you reach midlife invites a host of medical problems compared to people who are on the bigger size. Old and skinny definitely will make you look like a walking scarecrow which is not too appealing to the eyes while maybe it is time to celebrate to be a little bit fleshy, being healthy, fit and comfortable.

Do you think that a 'mistress' should have equal rights as the legal wife?

A lady should never be the "other woman" if she can avoid it. As the third part of the triangle, her position is unfair and unpleasant. She is anathema to the Wives' union. Her family is disgusted with her. Her friends are unhappy an disapproving. Her life is a series of brief encounters with someone else's husband. She is often very lonely. Sometimes she is a better woman than the wife in possession, but she is always regarded as a thief, a fox among the chickens. She lives in constant state of expectation - and depression. "I love you, I hate my wife, I'll get a divorce' is the chain that binds her. She usually accepts the situation at the beginning but as the years go without a change in the status quo, she often becomes as nagging and destructive as the wife he wanted to leave at the beginning of the liaison. The 'other woman' is a fool. In the beginning she gets all what she wanted by a twist of her fingers as she has everything, young and beautiful and 'satisfactory' to her man. As long as he is happy with her, he will shower her with anything that money can buy. She is also known as the 'lady of leisure'(LOL)that ease the job of a wife. But not all good things last forever, he will in the end go back to his wife and children leaving this woman alone and maybe penniless.
Do you think it is fair to be left in a lurch after being in service, filling the job of the rightful wife? Can the 'other woman' seek for compensation when the relationship ends?

Variety Is The Spice Of Life

Well....there is some truth in this saying 'variety is a spice of life' People and perspectives are renewed by change. Routine can be so tiresome that anything that breaks it can be helpful. But as good as a rest? Interchangeable with rest? Don't you believe it.

Rest should be more than a necessity. It can be a pleasure, a reward, even a kind of an art in that some people get very good at it while most of us don't do it very well at all. Human beings are renewable, rechargeable devices. When we run down and don't rest, we being to lose our light, our sight, our might. Each person needs to find his own formula for rest, but it should not be thought of as an interruption or a grudged necessity and certainly not as a waste of time. Rather, rest should be enjoyed, looked forward to and planned for.

For me exercising is the best way to relax, and it brings on real rest. It brings me away from the glare of the computer screen. For others maybe, rest is as simple as catching up on sleep. I don't sleep as much as I used to but short nap in the afternoon will recharge me and gives me a rested mind and body which will see me through for a longer night life. What do you normally do to spice up your life?

Does it work 'The Second Time Around

I wonder how many people are into their second marriages and realized that they have made a blunder and regretted for getting married again. You've heard the stats. Second marriages have a higher failure rate than first marriages. Many agree to the saying 'first love is the best love' but surprisingly many first marriages doesn't have happy endings and most ends in divorce. This prompt both parties to seek for better choices elsewhere which result in more worse situation then their first marriages. There's enough doom and gloom information out there that makes me wonder how anyone can walk down the isle again.
Second marriages are more complicated, especially if there are kids. But if you love the person wholeheartedly, there is no stopping anyone from going for a second try. Take the best from marriage number one and leave the rest. No marriage is perfect, entering into one is a gamble. You either win or lose. A lot of patience and an open and forgiving heart is needed for second marriages.

50 Is A Dangerous Age For A Woman

Many women regard 50s as a breaking point. They have reached a period where domesticity may well be off the line. It is a dangerous age as marriage and children no longer seem to hold the appeal they once did, and a heady cocktail of hormones kicks in to make them feel restless. Many people I know of has ditched a stable relationship of a marriage to lead a liberated life. Having spent years in raising children and being a good wife and a stable career or business, they suddenly opt for the unpredictable future on their own. They seems to be driven by conflicting feelings and to make good the experience and knowledge they gained from life to another new chapter in life. At 50 they want their passport to freedom, free from the clutches of men and feel the me-time again. The urge to find personal fulfilment is overwhelming even if it conflicts with the interests of hubby and children. I wonder whether this is what we call mid-life crisis. Men are no difference as they can be worse when they hit the golden 50. Do you think 50 is a dangerous age?

A compilation of what I wrote over the years

I have been an active member of mylot for more than 4 years. I have written many discussions and share views with members of mylot. I feel it is good that I share what I have written over the years in my personal blog so that it is open for everyone to view. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. If you have something to say, please leave your comments. It is very much appreciated.