Why we love who we love?

Love is a universal word commonly used to show affection for someone that touches our hearts. It is that beautiful feelings that keep stirring deep inside us which makes our world go round. It keeps our mind occupied every minute thinking of that someone special who might not be within our reach at the material time but visualizing his/her presence in our daily life makes everyday beautiful and inspiring.

Have you ever seen a married couple who at a glance seem unfit for each other yet they are both happy with each other. And a married couple I knew stayed together for years are often at loggerheads but live together out of respect for the vows they signed in church. This is what I call marriage based on convenience rather than LOVE. I believe marriage based on true love are rich and meaningful compared to plastic love. A love on rebound which are mistakenly taken as love is hollow and filled with regrets later in life.

Many of us are unconsciously drawn to a person like the pull of a supernatural force which slowly develop into a strong love. What mysterious force drives us into the arms of one person, while pushing us away from another who might appear equally desirable to any unbiased observer? What good qualities did you see in your partner that draw you to him and commit yourself for life with him/her?

' The househusband'

The man at home, the stay at home daddy, the work from home dad and finally, the househusband are just some names that we have for this particular group of daring men who have taken that bold step to go where few men have gone.
Society has not been kind to the stay at home daddy. They make snide remarks about how the wife wears the pants in the family, bringing back the dough while the man isn't good enough to have a 'proper job. They make fun of the stay at home daddy as being 'feminine' having instead do housework and deal with the kids.
But seriously, is a man who stays home and takes care of the house, does the cooking and raises kids any less 'manly?' Is it fair to consider him a 'lesser-being' just because he is not out there raking in a big pay cheque?

Are single women unhappy and to be pitied?

Being single is no sin but our conservative Asian society has been hard on them. If a woman reached 30 without being nabbed by a man, people looked askance at her. You poor thing, left on the shelf. She will be labeled an old maid and society put an unnecessary emotional burden on her by creating picture of the frigid plain woman with no sexual attraction for men. Or they might accuse women who want to remain single merely because they want the freedom to flirt from one bed to another - bed hopping. No strings of any kind. It is hard to understand suspicious and prurient attitudes that still persist in society regarding these women. Often the single woman is maligned for no reason, and mainly by married women who feel that the single woman is a threat to their marriages. Such an attitude in many instances is totally unfounded. Having tasted life as a committed woman, I am full of envy for their freedom and their happy go lucky life that is so limited in the life of married women.

Single women can see too clearly the many humpty dumpty marriages which nobody is able to put together again; and when they look around at some of their married friends, with defeat and frustration in their eyes,and regret echoed in every action, it sorts of deter them from entering into marriages.

What we have to get rid of are those prejudices which so easily take hold of us, and allow people to live the lives they want to lead - single or married. There are ups and downs in both. Let women choose what they want.

Growing old May Be a Choice!

Well meaning friends are a constant reminder that I am no longer a spring chicken when they keep sending humorous jokes to my emails pictures of wrinkled old women and jokes about old age which keeps me in high spirit and easing the aching muscles after a good laugh.

Being in the 50s I have thus long passed the peak of life where the waters divide. That half century mark is when we can do just as much as ever but would rather not. As long as we keep ourselves in good health, we will always feel the vibration of youth very much in us. I am baffled and have no idea why we age, considering that our bodies are constantly regenerating themselves. It is only with bad diet, poor health choices (drinking, smoking etc) stress, our deep rooted beliefs/programming that aging is normal and the biggest factor of all: the baggage that drag around with us everyday makes us old.

Aging may be unnecessary and should be classified as being a disease, rather than something that is a normal part of life. So, then, why do we age?

Living In a Haunted House

Ghost stories that we see in movies are only stories but that can happen in our real world. At the mention of ghost or demons, a chill ran down my spine. And now I am being challenged with the real demonic activity that is haunting the place I am staying now.

Before I begin discussing it, I'd like to relate something about this place. I have only been here for 3 years after the death of my father. It is quite a remote area and only the busy highway in front of the property gives life to this place. It is still surrounded by virgin jungles with a splattering of houses distantly apart. Within the property itself there are few houses which were rented out and I stay in a double storey 14 roomed shophouse where the ground floors housed my present pub and a few half dead businesses started by my father.

Every tenant that lived in the rented houses have experienced some kind of eerie happenings in their homes involving furniture moving, strange noises like the crying of babies and sometimes adults and voices. There was this tenant who woke up early in the morning to find a pool of fresh blood in front of the main entrance. And in my pub sometimes the music can suddenly change to another music when no one is in the DJ room. There are so many other strange happenings that is beyond explanations. The locals here have told me that this place is haunted as it once used to be the Japanese base during the war. So I can understand, maybe they have left their dead buried somewhere in this place.

Now, to be honest, I've never been the bravest person in the world. I'm not a coward in any way, but let's just say I'm the kind of woman who when given the choice between watching a funny movie and a scary one will pick the comedy everytime. I stayed up alone until the wee hours surfing the net and so far I have not met with any supernatural beings but of course I have my rosary around my neck to resit any kind of evil. But sometimes when I have to answer nature's call I can feel my hair stood on ends but have to brave my way to the toilet and run back immediately to my computer.

I listened to all the stories related by my tenants but was extremely skeptical. I've always had a strong suspicious streak in me, especially when it comes to reports of "supernatural' occurrences. What would you do if you happen to live in a haunted place? Chicken out?

More to Life than Paper Qualifications?

The world is very competitive especially in the field of educations. Tuition centers are mushrooming everywhere because the demand is great as parents aspire to see their children succeed in the academic field. Parents push their children to go for extra tuition classes after the normal schooling in the hope that their children excel in their examinations. But they have forgotten that not all kids are endowed with the gift of academic brains. Academic education is important but it is not the means to all ends. Each children has certain skills, capacities and interests. These constantly change.

I never took my studies seriously when I was still schooling. Never attended any tuition classes as it was not popular then. I was not the studious type but because of wanting to please both my parents I have no choice but to complete my studies. My interest lies in cooking but never had the opportunity to attend a culinary Art schools. I had no interest in reading but at the age of 40-plus, my life changed and now I am surrounded by books. I know of very successful business people today who did not even complete formal studies.

Every person has dignity and just to be alive is a wonder. We have many options to select from and academic studies are not the only one. Parents have a part to play in this. They can monitor their children's interests, guide and encourage them to pursue what they are good at and not harp on academic qualifications alone.

According to Dale Carnegie: People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doingSomething to ponder.

Changing to healthier diet needn’t mean you miss out on the good things in life

You’ve embarked on a diet – and have even discovered some exciting new recipes – but what about wine? According to doctors, a little bit of what you fancy does you good, so much so that heart attack patients in hospitals were given two glasses a day during their stay. It’s also a great stress reliever, helping you unwind at the end of a busy day. The secret is moderation – but by drinking less you can afford a few special bottles and expand your wine horizons.

People who misuse alcohol not only suffer from many illnesses but drive them earlier to their graves. Moderation is the key word here when it comes to food and drink.

Deafness in Men is a sign of Boredom

The expression 'fallen on deaf ears' is one which most women fondly use to describe the impasse that takes place in the relationship with their closest and dearest...the spouse or partner. Did you realize that where once he would have regarded it as a privilege and achievement to spend time to whisper sweet nothings in your ears and hoped that it would be reciprocated he now occupies himself mostly with the television or papers. In many cases, after many years of marriage, the spouse or partner now merely hopes that you don't shout at him or into his face if he acts as though he can't hear you properly! The truth is that husband and wives do make a game of the sudden deafness that may arise. It's more commonly seen in hubbies! I will not debate on that with you but I am quite sure that it's the men who would take the prize when it comes to such ear problems! For instance they would suffer suddenly from this when asked to clean the garden, was the car or clean the windows. When accosted and accused of their non responsive attitude they pretend and make the excuse that they did not hear it at that time! Oh my goodness, how naive do they think their wife is? To be fair to the guys, lest it said that I am bias, I must say that women too at times pretend not to hear their man but I think that has less to do with chores than other subjects. But men are always the ones who suffer from sudden deafness. How do you tackle this situation when the blank walls can hear you better than the spouse you are talking to? For me I have to rely on this good old charm which often make him jump from his chair without my words. An increase in household expenses may wake him up to the fact that I had to call in and pay for general help. This wakes him up to the fact that he could have pitched in and saved the cost. And another game is a late or burnt dinner. I admit both ways has given me good results.

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